One night a long time ago, Mary the strawberry was staring out her window daydreaming of her life to the hottest blackcurrant in the land and her future husband Joe. All of a sudden a shining light startled her and a redcurrant of the mighty banana appeared and spoke to Mary. I am he the redcurrant of the mighty banana and I come to tell you his values your freshness and taste and is very happy with you. He has chosen you to be the mother of his daughter Elsa. Elsa will taste great and will be called the daughter of the mightiest banana in all the land.
Mary said and I will be the handmaiden of the mightiest banana and I will yield his fruit. Let it be. Then the redcurrant disappeared. Mary felt at peace and the holy grapefruit popped round for tea. The powers of the mightiest banana overshadowed her and she became pregnant. Eventually the time came for Mary to tell Joe and when he found out he went so pale she thought he had gone past his sell by date. But Joe loved Mary very much and when he heard the news of her pregnancy he thought it must be artificial insemination because he was the hottest blackcurrant in all the land. He still did not know what to do though, luckily the mightiest banana did and as Joe slept the redcurrant appeared to him in his dreams saying “Joe you are the hottest blackcurrant in all the land but the mightiest banana wishes you to still take Mary as your wife. She is carrying the mighty banana’s child and he wants you to take care of her. This strawberry will be very special! You are to call her Elsa and she shall save her people from genetically modified fruit.” The redcurrant then leant down patted him on the shoulder and said “don’t worry mate the mightiest banana has got complete control of it” Joe woke up and ran as fast as he could to Mary’s house which wasn’t very fast as after all he was a blackcurrant. He banged on the door and said “MARY! MARY! I just had a nightmare… I mean a dream… You are to be my wife the redcurrant told me!” Mary was so happy, they hugged and praised the mighty banana all night long.
Caesar salad the leader at that time ordered every fruit to pay their seeds in the place that they were grown. This was distressing news for Joe and Mary it meant that they would have to travel a long way to the field in which they were grown which was many miles away in a place called Bethnal Green and the baby was due soon. Joe wasn’t too happy with the news it meant he’d miss arsenal on the TV and miss the kick about with the local mixed fruits league. But then he remembered what he’d read on a carton not long ago… “The mightiest banana moves in mysterious ways”. Joe did everything he could possibly do to make the trip easy for Mary. Unfortunately it was summer and all the donkeys were on vacation on Brighton beach so they had to walk the whole way. Mary was terrified of this as she had seen the ribena advert that had killed Joe’s cousins and had heard rumours that there was to be a new batch of strawberry ribena made soon. When they finally arrived in Bethnal Green there was nowhere for them to go.. turns out the field had been ploughed and built on a long time ago.
Mary looked at Joe and said “the baby’s coming, we need to find somewhere where I can give birth” He tried to look encouraging for her sake but secretly he was bricking it. He turned to her and said “the mightiest banana must have a special place for us” . That was not what he meant at all he didn’t have a clue what the mightiest banana had for them. So they stopped by the nearest telephone box and called him and asked him where are we supposed to go. He didn’t pick up he had gone to Brighton with his grandchildren on holiday for donkey rides and ice cream. Then Joe remembered his stamping ground in a nearby allotment, a place where he used to play when he was a boy. He used to love watching the baby cucumbers grow there. He turned to Mary and said “I will take you to the allotments… it’s a couple of minutes this way”. Luckily there was a shed that had recently been built so Joe nestled Mary down in the corner of the shed and that is where Elsa was born. They were very happy that there were no complications and that Elsa was a healthy baby strawberry. They wrapped her in sacking and laid her in a matchbox nearby. Soon they both fell asleep exhausted from the day’s events.
A few hours later Mary and Joe were rudely awakened from their sleep. Mary whispered to Joe, “Look there are kiwifruits outside the shed.” Mary was worried that they may have to move from the warm shelter of the allotment and find a shop doorway to rest in. So she sent Joe to find out what the kiwifruits wanted. Joe grumpily got up from his warm cosy corner and went out into the night to see what the kiwi’s wanted. He stumbled back into the shed minutes later and told her that they wanted to see the baby. Mary was shocked “why” she asked. Joe replied “well I’m going back to sleep they can explain okay?” Mary went to the door and let in the masses of kiwis.
“Look at the strawberry child as the redcurrant told us” the kiwi’s said, “ Let us explain, a bright light appeared out of the fridge. We were greatly worried and afraid as last time that happened George went forever but a redcurrant appeared and told us “fear not: I bring you good tidings of great joy for all the fruits. Today! In the place called Bethnal Green, a saviour is born, Elsa the Queen of fruits. You will find the baby wrapped in sacking lying in a matchbox.”
Then there was a multitude of noise in the fridge praising the mightiest banana and singing “glory to the mightiest banana in the highest and on earth peace, good will to all fruits”
Oh what a blessed strawberry this is! What a beautiful night! We will not stay long but we had to come and see the miracle that was told to us. You understand right?
“Yes,” Mary replied, “this is a wondrous miracle!” Mary kept all these things and pondered them in her head.
“We will be off now, we must get back to the limes, we can’t leave them for too long you see. The dragon fruit around our parts tend to nab them will we are away. Thank you!”
As they went, they rejoiced and told everybody they met about the miracle of the night. A couple of days later when the shed was invaded by the owner and his son Mary and Joe went on their way and found a nice field to sleep in a place that was called Hyde Park. They were so happy for all that the Mightiest banana had done. Meanwhile the same night that Elsa was born a starfruit appeared in the sky and in the east three wise raspberries were watching. They knew this was special; and that a great queen was born that night. Each decided to leave their market stalls and follow the starfruit so they could give gifts to the new queen.
But on their way to find Elsa, there was a partial cloud and they got hideously lost being learned raspberries they did not wish to use satellite navigation especially as to begin with there were 4 wise men but Ericus was plastered over a main road after being wrongly directed by a satnav and after that they decided they would rely only on their brains. So they stopped to ask a stranger and unfortunately they asked the wrong fruit. A wicked fruit called Leonora the Lemon. Leonora the lemon was the ruler of this town and she was not happy to hear of another queen being born.. in fact she was pretty sour about all of it, she was the queen!! She called out to the wise men flashing her massive lemon bosom and said “hey guys where is this queen supposed to be born anyway- the daughter of the mightiest banana, queen of all the fruits. Due to a cartoon nearby they resisted her charms and managed to escape. The starfruit called to them from high above the field and said “coooeee over here” and there in the matchbox in the field was Elsa. They had brought her three gifts the first was chocolate sauce – a lovely covering for any baby strawberry as it would keep her warm for the long nights ahead. This signified that she was the daughter of the mightiest banana. The next gift was a pet cherry that squeaked and snuffled and cuddled Elsa. The cherry would stay with her because it knew that she was to be sacrificed to the fruit salad bowl to save them from the genetically modified fruits. But there was another gift a very special gift they brought her the thickest whipping cream. Why would she need whipping cream after all it could not do much for her. It ended up being needed because Leonora the lemon came after them and they had to hide for a year. The cream was useful to hide in because Leonora is scared of cream; it always reminds her of lemon meringue. They only just made it out of Hyde Park the mightiest banana sent them a dream… Leonora is on her way, she’s sour about Elsa being born and she wants to chop her up and make strawberry flakes. So the three wise raspberries went back another way and bypassed Leonora. After a year of hiding in the cream they got a dream from the mightiest banana and he said Leonora is dead she has become lemonade you are safe, go home. So they did, returned home with their year old strawberry daughter Elsa. She would go on to be the greatest strawberry the world has ever seen.
Copyright N.Lewis 2016